You Had Me and You Lost Me

I assure you that this is not one of the seven signs. While I, for the most part, vastly disagree with hippies, every now and then I think they find a cause that is actually worth arguing for. Don't drop dead of a heart attack. I'm not agreeing with hippies. Just bear with me. This will make sense in a minute.

The problem with Berkeley hippies in particular is that they are kind of like the protestor who cried wolf. When you protest everything from the war in Iraq to faulty washing instructions on hand towels, it tends to tire out the public. I can't remember a weekend where there wasn't some kind of protest going on in the bay area. Thus, I just get tired. I tune out everything they're arguing about, even if it might happen to be something I'd normally care about.

But sometimes I forget. Sometimes something makes it through. This last week students from all over California stood up to protest tuition hikes at state run schools. I understand that universities need to raise tuition as the cost of running a school increases due to reallocations in the state budget, economic uncertainties, and declining enrollment. What I don't understand, however, is the 32% hike in tuition costs in ONE year. That's completely absurd. So, I found myself actually happy to see students from Los Angeles to Berkeley gathering en masse to protest those hikes. Finally, a protest I can agree with...one that actually makes some sense and has a hope of influencing someone who can actually make some changes.

Then the stupid, idiotic hippies at UC Berkeley just had to go and ruin what was a perfectly acceptable protest by locking themselves in one of the university buildings. In an instant they went from having my sympathy to being complete and total douche bags. Why do they always have to push it just a lot too far? Fifty students forced police to breach the building and arrest them on Friday night, all the while, more liberal hippie douchebags ranted and raved outside about police brutality (because apparently handcuffing someone is too brutal) and the man trying to keep them down. Because OF COURSE the police are maintaining order for no other purpose than to the further the agenda of the evil university panels.

*sigh*

I hate hippies.

Damn it, hippies, why on earth do you have to make everything such a battle? As my boyfriend's friend said, "We can't all afford to live in your hippie wonderland." You turned something that I was willing to support you on into something that I just can't stand to listen to any more. Well done, douchebags. Well done.

Anonymous Public Humiliation is Fun

I have to thank my cousin for introducing me to a new website. It's stupid. It's immature. It's filled with duds and sheer genius. It's Texts From Last Night. Awesome. I'm probably the last person in the universe to find this site, but it's entertaining if nothing else. I think my favorite one on the main page right now is: "The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made." It fills the same empty space in me that horrible guilty pleasure reality shows do. Ah the shame. *embrace*

Buy It Quicklies!

Staying home sick means that I am subjected to many strange and annoying commercials. Normally, one is bombarded with commercials for lawyers, ITT technical school, crappy nursing programs, and variety of CALL NOW or you'll miss the best deal EVER EVER EVER advertised EVER!!! It was during one of these commercials that I realized I have been living my life all wrong! Like a chump I've been going to restaurants, balls games, and picnics without having the Freedom Tray!

For only $19.95, I could have had a plastic tray that holds all my stuff! I could have been carting around my food, beverages, and other items without a care rather than clumsily trying to balance drinks, hot dogs, and nachos. That's not the best part, though! The best part is that I can carry it ANYWHERE because the legs fold down flat! I could have been putting my freedom fries on my Freedom Tray without the worry of spilling them on the ground because I was carrying too much other stuff! Plus, I could have been patriotic, because not only does it promote freedom, but it has a wonderful red, white, and blue theme! Wow!

From now on, there will be no more cheap recyclable cardboard trays provided by the vendor! No! Those could collapse on me without warning, and then where would I be!? I'd have nachos and beer all over me! I will get the not-so-compact Freedom Tray, get a gigantic beach bag, and carry it with me everywhere! Fantastic! Come on, America! Join me! It's only $19.95, plus if you buy two, you get a third one for FREE! How's THAT for freedom! And I love their motto, "God Bless America!"

Look for "exciting new features coming soon"! Eeeeep!!!! I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!

You Heard It Here First!

I just wanted to point out how ahead of the game I am, or rather how ahead of the game Der Spiegel is! Because I read a trashy German website, I have brought you news that was cutting edge. For instance, I brought you the important issue of Nazi Gnomes in Germany back in July. Just last week, I saw my local news reporting on the very same thing. It's like they didn't have anything good to report on, so they hauled out Nazi Gnomes. But who gave you this useless news first!? ME!!!! And were did I get it?! Der Speigel!

Not only did I bring you the hot issues of Nazi Gnomes, but I thought about writing an article about terrorist groups in Afghanistan recruiting German citizens to join the jihad and migrate to Afghanistan. I first read about it in...you guessed it...Der Spiegel, and thought it was an interesting trend, and then I saw the same thing on my local news several weeks later. Granted, I didn't actually write about that, but I thought about writing about it, and that should count for something.

So, dear reader(s) (?), stick around for more edgy, ahead-of-its-time news right here on Aelel's Confounditorium. Even though it's been taking me a while to post anything, I'm still ahead of my local news. Is that sad or impressive? I choose impressive. Go me!

Losing It All

The other day I was in the car listening to some morning talk show in a vain attempt to escape the ever pompous NPR. This morning show was talking about some guy who won the lottery in the 80's. He won the largest lottery payout ever up until that point, which was $5 million. Doesn't seem like a huge amount these days, but the guy chose to be paid $130,000 over 20 years. Not a bad salary. Well, the guy is now 81 and living in a trailer park, completely broke.

I just had to shake my head. I've never understood how people go from being mega-rich to bankrupt and alone. To me it must be a gross misspending of funds. You always hear about these musicians who end up broke and selling off all their possessions while trying to revive their careers through new crappy albums and "reunion tours" no one wants to go see. So, I thought, this guy beat the odds and won the freakin' lottery, and he has to end his life in a crappy trailer park? Weak. What went wrong?

Apparently, the guy went out with his friends a lot, bought dinner every time, helped his friends pay off various things, traveled all over the world, and did a bunch of other things I can't remember. I thought about how lonely this old guy must be sitting in his crappy little trailer after having the funds to have everything he wanted and live out his life in the lap of, if not luxury, at least comfort, then losing it all. How bitter he must feel. That's when I learned that people can continue surprise you.

The media interviewed this man and rather than spouting off about how angry he was or how life now completely sucked, he said rather the opposite. He said that he had used his money to enjoy life and help his friends. He traveled the world, saw things he never imagined seeing, and felt happy that he'd been able to help others. He was satisfied with his life, even if he ended up in a trailer park. No regrets whatsoever.

I absolutely love that. No whining. No regrets. He lived life to the fullest when he was able to and could life out the rest of his life content with the knowledge that he had lived. Fantastic. Makes me feel all warm inside. That people aren't always the greedy, selfish people you see on the news every day. Uh oh... is that blip of hope for humanity I'm feeling? Sweet.

Eggs with a Side of Guilt

This morning, I stumbled into the little restaurant next door to my work, and say hi to the owner, Nancy, who says hi back to me. I expected to begin my normal barely coherent mumblings that somehow ends up in me getting food, but this morning was different. Nancy informed me that next Friday will be the restaurant's last day. She explained that her restaurant has lost 50% of its business since last year, and she couldn't afford to keep it going any more.

I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. A major grocery chain just moved in the area since last year, and, of course, a lot of people jumped ship to go there. The store quickly lost its shine, however, especially when breakfast is weighed by the pound. I refused to pay $6 for a couple scoops of egg. Then, directly across the street from Nancy's restaurant, opened the new place that is sucking half of my pay check into it's vortex of yumminess. This place bakes all of its stuff from scratch, and they have neat little computer kiosks where you can order and pay for your meal without having to talk to anyone at all. I just grab a pager and wait for my meal. Very cool. I've been there for the past three weeks, sometimes twice a day.

Already, though, I've been getting annoyed by the shiny beacon across the street, because I can't amend my order to have egg whites instead of full on eggs. So, I've been migrating back to Nancy's for breakfast. I've always wanted a place where I can walk in say hi to the owner and have them say, "Good morning! The usual?" I had that with Nancy's place, and now I feel bad that she's being forced to close, and worse that I may have contributed to it by my quest to have overpriced, fancy home-baked yumminess. The whole issue of the economy also hits home with this. Other than watching housing prices fall to something that I might be able to think about affording in the distant future, I haven't seen much in the way of negative consequences of the downturn. All I can say is: This Sucks!

I was sucked in by the shiny, sparkly goodness of bigger places, and now I feel bad that Nancy has to find a different job, and that her chef, Caesar, is going to be looking for work as well. I won't be able to light-heartedly make fun of the restaurant's name or of the thick Korean accents with my friends when they call out your order number (if it's busy). Most of all, I feel bad that a nice lady with a cute little business is going to have to start all over again in the middle of her life.

Nancy, I wish you the best.

You Don't KNOW Me! *snap*

Today I went to the El Sobrante Stroll. What is that you say? That's exactly what I said. I'd never heard of this event although I've lived in the area for nearly a decade. Turns out there's a good reason why I haven't heard of the event. For the event, El Sobrante (which is right next door to the number 9 murder capital of the US, Richmond) closed down a section of the only major road they have. It is a tired town, mostly constructed of homes and businesses that were constructed in the '70's and never really kept up or remodeled. Everything is dark, the paint is peeling, and the roofs are sagging. The street fair wasn't much better. The booths represented a few banks, insurance companies, and a whole host of "crafts" that I can't imagine anyone wanting to buy. The highlight of the event was the bike ramp they put outside the bike shop where a professional duo did flips and tricks on their bikes for 20 minutes.

The "parade" they put on was equally sad. A few horses trotted down the road, a couple of elementary schools, a day care, two cheer squads from local high schools, two high school marching bands (one good, one consisting of 15 depressed looking kids), a dance team (who didn't dance), and a few floats sponsored by the Masons, Boy Scouts, and a couple others. The floats weren't so much floats as they were platforms with a couple of balloons, streamers, and a few kids thrown on the back. It was really depressing.

I knew the event was going to go well when an old skinny man whose clothes hung on his frail frame approached people telling everyone not to worry because he was sober. Fantastic. The crowd didn't get much better than that. A dentist could make a fortune in that town if anyone could afford dental care. I have never seen so many people with severe dental issues, mainly missing teeth...or is it teef? A few ladies stumbled around in what I can only describe as street walker shoes, kids seemed to be unsupervised, pitbulls were the dogs of choice. Most disturbing to me was the sheer amount of teenage parents I saw roaming around the event. There is absolutely no reason why in this day and age teens should end up pregnant. Planned Parenthood (PP) provides free condoms and services, sex education is mandatory in most schools, the Internet is lousy with information on responsible sex, and even if you can't get yourself to a PP, condoms are relatively cheap! Don't tell me you can't afford condoms when you're sucking down a Venti iced mocha from Starbucks. I just about fell over when I saw a girl in a cheerleader uniform walk down the street with her one year old child on her shoulders.

I still feel like a I can't afford a child, so how is it that these teenagers are managing to get by? Probably thanks to all of us, I'm sure. What's worse is that these kids weren't just walking around with shoddy strollers. Some of these kids were walking around with some rather expensive machinery. Watching all of these kids holding infants made me flash to Idiocracy. The educated and responsible people in the US are slowing down when it comes to having kids, often waiting until their 30's, while the ill-educated are popping out babies before they can even drive. Is it always going to be like this? It depresses me.