Red Dirt Wasteland

For the record, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.  They are generally just another way to feel horrible about yourself, and since I'm already good at thinking I'm a sack of crap, I choose to forgo this particular tradition.  I think we should make little resolutions all year long as needed.  Sometimes, however, things I want to change happen to line up with the beginning of the year.  Such is the case now.

I am stuck in one of the most god-awful states in the nation.  When my job first assigned me here, I thought I would be okay.  Sure, the midwest sucks, but there have to be redeeming qualities, right?  Well, I've found a state that seems to have only only redeeming quality:  the people are generally nice.  And that's it.  I've found it very difficult to find things to do here in Oklahoma.  Yeah, that's right.  I have to live in Oklahoma.  Sucks to be me.  What I've discovered is that anything I had an interest in before is nigh impossible to do here. 

I like hiking.  Yeah, good luck here where I don't think they know what a hill is.  AND YES, OKIES... I KNOW that way in the southwestern part of the state there are some rolling hills.  Well, I don't feel like spending half my day commuting to said spot.  I guess I'm used to being able to drive a max of 45 minutes before finding a decent hill to climb.  From what I've heard, what little trails they have here pretty much end after a mile with a sign that pretty much says, "Trail ends.  Turn back.  Trespassers will be shot."  Funsies.  And I don't consider trekking across someone's fallow field a hike.

I also love the ocean.  Well, there goes that idea.  The biggest lake within decent distance of me is little more than what I would consider a pond.  So no luck there.  I like cultural events and art festivals and galleries.  Unless I'm into southwest art, I'm outta luck.  In fact, I was excited when I saw there was an art district, but I was sadly disappointed to discover that there are no galleries in the art district.  It's just named that because once a year they shut down a block and have an "art festival".  Sigh.  Oh, and for those of you who think, "why not just go to the Paseo?"  Well, no.  I don't like southwest art, and the two blocks of art studios isn't exactly what I would call a huge selection.

I like interesting food.  Outta luck there as well.  Kabobs are considered exotic here.  A decent steak can pretty much be found at Outback.  Even the $60 steak I had wasn't that much better than the $11 Outback Special.  I'm not kidding.  I love seafood, so I'm outta luck there as well.  Nothing is fresh.  I'm not joking when I tell you that Chili's was listed in the top 5 of best BBQ in a local paper, as chosen by the public.  Chinese food?  People here recommend the local buffet.  Thank GOD for the one decent Vietnamese place I've found here.  (interestingly enough, there is a relatively signficant Vietnamese population.  Relatively significant being... well... relative, since the vast majority of the state is lily white.)

Shopping?  I'm not a huge fan of shopping, but even if I were, I'd be hard pressed to find any quirky local shops.  There's not a lot.  Yeah, there a few here and there, but they're spread out and hard to find.

Sports?  When it's not 112 degrees for four months, people apparently decide that it's not worth having non-high school or college sports.  Once the OU/OSU football season starts, no one here pays attention to anything else.  There's a pretty decent minor league baseball team, but I'm not a baseball fan.  And seriously.... the Thunder can suck it.  I'm a bitter Seattle Super Sonics fan.  I hear the hockey team isn't much better than high school team.

So, I decided since there's nothing really to do here, maybe I can find a social group.  I went on to meetup.com and found a raging total of 43 groups, compared to the 2000 or so I'm used to seeing.  Of those, most require you to be A:  extremely religious, B:  extremely Republican, or C:  extremely old.  Most people here socialize at church, and since I'm not a church goer (which gets me a lot of disappointed looks here), I don't have that as an option either.  I'm not an atheist or anything.  I just don't like the commercial feel of most churches.  Especially the mega-complexes you find here.

My point here, other than that this state has very little to offer anyone, is that I'm determined to try and find something to do in Oklahoma that may introduce me to someone with whom I don't work.  I'd love to make a non-work friend.  I'm aching for a good adult kickball team or social group or SOMETHING.  Yeah, I could start a meetup group of my own, but I'm also extremely lazy, and I don't want to be responsible for organizing events.  Since I haven't found much to do here, I'm afraid I wouldn't get a lot of takers for an event entitled: "organize your sock drawer".  But I WILL find something to do, even if I end up face down in the red dirt cursing the scraggly buffalo that just ran over my back, fracturing my spine, because the only thing I could find to do was Buffalo Tipping.

Game on, Oklahoma.  GAME.  ON.